Them apples

Consider human existence. Suffering, violence, hate, all that. And then consider the gifts we enjoy of peace, safety, healthcare, education, and still while sitting in a modern car, its climate control, surround sound, airbags, satellite navigation, voice control, 18-direction power seat control… and becoming unhinged because the mom in front of you in the Drive-Thru doesn’t move fast enough. Why are we so dissatisfied? Why are we so angry? I get at the anger.
20 years ago I just returned to the American lap of luxury after working in a broken down post-war former Soviet Republic. Everything was the same but it all looked different because I no longer took everything for granted. The produce section in the supermarket left me dazed, wondering why we needed so many different kinds of apples… and why people in line at the check out were still griping. On cell phones, to each other, to me.

I bought a motorcycle just for the solace of isolation. Stopped at a red light, a distracted woman gently rolled into me from behind, no damage, just a little bump. She was horrified and afraid. She only tapped my rear tire, it didn’t knock me over and there was no damage, but in my leather jacket and black helmet I probably looked a little scary. She was a frightened mess. We pulled into the parking lot beside the intersection and she was shaking when she got out of her car, apologizing effusively. I was stopped at a red light and she hit me from behind, technically. And here I was calming her down, reassuring her I was okay. She was shaking badly and I was afraid she was going to pass out. I took her by the arm inside the diner, sat her down at the counter, and bought us both coffee. Turned out her son had recently been killed in the service.

That was 20 years ago and I think about that all the time, how that 50 something year old woman was already distraught and preoccupied. In LA drivers like her get honked at and get a lot of fingers.

Who Cares About Trump’s Tax Returns? Vlad You Asked.

On Friday night there was a protester at Donald Trump’s Florida rally. That’s not news. But what the protester shouted, and Trump’s reaction was definitely something new.

The protester interrupted Trump by shouting “You love Russia!” and “You’re Putin’s bitch!”

The protester was immediately ejected, but for the first time Trump seemed sort of shaken into silence, and the crowd was also silent. For a moment, anyway. Everybody heard what the protester said. Four years ago Mitt Romney characterized Vladimir Putin as an enemy, even predicting Putin’s invasion of the Crimea and possibly Ukraine. Now Donald Trump has nothing but warm praise for the Russian president, as everybody knows.

The press and the Democrats have been clamoring for Donald Trump’s tax returns, mocking Trump about what he has to hide. Are you paying zero taxes? Is it that you’re not worth as much as you say? Democratic VP candidate Tim Kaine asked these questions out loud just yesterday.

Here’s what’s important. We shouldn’t give a damn if Trump managed not to pay taxes. And it doesn’t matter to a person’s ability to govern how much he’s worth. What matters VERY much is whether he has deep business involvement in Russia. We need to know WHY he is inclined to weird, inappropriate praise of Vladimir Putin. We MUST know if it has to do with special favors Trump may have received in personal business ventures in Russia, where he has been trying to develop real estate since the 1980s.

American voters have the right to know if this presidential candidate has a personal affiliation and conflict of interest with one of our greatest global opponents. Is Donald Trump even capable of viewing Russia through the eyes of an American strategist and not through the lens of real estate entrepreneur with heavy personal investments? Perhaps already heavily indebted to Russia and individual Russians? Americans have the right to know if Donald Trump has reason to treat Vladimir Putin with favoritism, ahead of the best interests of the the United States.

A Couple of Corinthians

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So one day, these 2 Corinthians cruised into town.

One of these guys was Luke and the other was Matt. Luke looked around and saw a bunch of hungry looking people. They just finished eating brunch, pancakes, eggs benedict, the whole deal, so they weren’t very hungry, and they had some extra food. So they figured they would just give it away. I mean hey, why not. But when Luke opened the trunk of the car he saw there was only five loaves of bread and a couple cans of Bumble Bee tuna.

So Matt said, “That’s not enough. We’re going to run out, and if we run out there’s going to be a riot. Go buy some more.”

Matt was the boss, so Luke went over to the 7-Eleven and bought more food. He came back with plenty of food, even Slurpees, and handed it out to all the people. He got back into the car with Matt and after driving a while Matt said, “Thanks dude. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. I was hungry and you got me something to eat from the grocery store.” Luke looked at him, and after a minute said, “Did you forget to take your meds today?”

Matt was always saying weird shit like that. But some people just have a messed-up God complex. They think no matter how disgusting and selfish their behavior, it must be good and right– simply because it was something they did.

For example, A god can eradicate famine simply by waving his hand.

Indulging in a conspiracy theory

Lately I’ve been doing battle. I’ve been slaying dragons.

There are different species and they’ll never die, but nevertheless I’m locked in endless battle with them. One of my futile wars is waged against the anti-vaccination dragons, impossible to slay since they are deaf and blind to conventional weaponry (objective facts). Other hellbent species I can’t seem to ignore include the thin-skinned ammosexual (growing population, in great need of amendment), climate change deniers (barely keeping their noses above a rising flood of facts contradicting their dogma), and the 1% tax cutters (who never got the memo that repeating something that has failed twice and expecting it to succeed is the definition of… well… the GOP economic plan).

The dragons will be there when I get back. Time for a break

I don’t normally indulge in this– more fun to ridicule conspiracy theorists than to be one–  but the idea of this is just too good.

So here’s my conspiracy theory. It’s based solely on pure conjecture and handwriting on the wall, and also that Donald Trump seems to have deep business involvement in Russia. He also says some weirdly glowing nice admiring things about Vladimir Putin. When I add all that up, my crystal ball and voodoo chicken bones say Putin and Trump cooked up a plan to use Russian intelligence to hack into Democratic National Committee emails (Debbie Wasserman Schultz), and Hillary’s personal emails for use by the Trump campaign.

This would be a colossal crime, it would be Watergate to the 10th power. Not perpetrated by inept Washington burglars, but by Russian agents, taking orders from the Russian president— in cahoots with the Republican presidential candidate.

But of course that would never happen. Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump are men of character, the sorts of people who would never stoop to such immoral and illegal behavior. I mean that would be like invading a foreign country. Like invading Crimea and Ukraine. Who would do such a thing.

Right?